Occupational Destiny...

Wow man. There has just been a shitload on my mind recently. Not all of it I can put into words either. Some of it is getting me down but I'm just trying not to let it do that ya know? I'm generally happier than I was some time ago...more focused. Focused on my goals, it's almost like the negativity just provides more drive to get them done faster ya know?

Along with this kind of, new found sense of accelerated ambition as I'll call it, I'm feeling like I'm at one of the highest levels of vulnerability that I've been at in a while...but in this case, breaking down again is not an option. It's all gonna be healed, all fears and concerns will be allayed with the simple act of checking things off that "to do" list. I wanna reconnect with old friends, make some more music, secure an internship...hey, I've got an interview for one tomorrow. School is going well, though like I may have mentioned before the final stretch is pretty brutal.

It's weird ya know? It almost seems as if the closer I get to this impending fate, this "real world" future, this occupational destiny...the less scared I am. That doesn't make sense. By all rights I should be getting progressively MORE scared but I'm not. Another thing I said before was that my fear came down to the whole internship debacle. It's for that reason that I'm going to breathe a huge sigh of relief when tomorrow's interview is over...AND when I get the internship. Yeah that's right, I said "when."

I've gotta keep dreaming big, gotta keep crossing my fingers. I know I'll feel much better when I've got this stuff all in the bag and I can focus solely on schoolwork rather than internship hunting. This also eliminates the needs for for going through that upcoming threat of job hunting, at least for a couple weeks. I'd imagine I'll be doing internship stuff.

And this reading week needs to be somewhat fun...after all, it is "Spring Break" somewhere now isn't it?

Confidence my friends, confidence.

Adios homies,
Joe

P.S. I apologize if this entry is kinda messy, I'm half asleep right now while putting it together. Ohh, so much to do and so little time.