Fall down, rise up...again

So I'm averaging like two or three posts every month...ehh, still much better than what I used to do. There will be more time to update in the summer but at that point I'll also hopefully be updating my music blog more often because the summer is the time for writing and recording.

So today was a crazy day at school. Things were calm and then got really hectic, really fast. I'm gonna be working on stuff all weekend, and I'm starting to feel the pressure again. I was also starting to fret all over again and get those anxiety attacks and yes "fear of the future" which I might has well have named this blog because that's all I've been talking about even though I SAID that I would STOP!!!!!

...

But hey...it all goes back to the title of one of my last blog entry: "Fall down, rise up." I thought nothing of it when I first typed it out because usually I just type the first thing that comes to mind. But today, it felt like another one of those fluctuations, another one of those mood swings, like: "OHHMIGOD I'M NOT GONNA MAKE IT..OHH..oh....ohhhh...okay never mind I'm fine." And I think that's gonna happen a lot, even though I hate to admit it. I think I NEED that, I think we all do at some point.

In short I started to worry again but then as the day progressed I let my mind ease up, mentally prepared myself for the days to come, vented to my girlfriend (which always seems to help). There's just been a lot of talk about journalism being a dying industry...I just have to believe that I'm skilled enough to be able to jump ship quickly if the S.S. Broadcast News Media goes down...and I think I am skilled enough man, I really do. And if not, I'm a quick learner... so fuck it.

It's gonna be tough keeping a level head but shit, I'm gonna have to just try my hardest to do just that. And like I've said before, it doesn't hurt to come here once in a while and vent it through typing to you guys...my three loyal readers, haha. Naw, I really don't know how many people read this but in the end I guess it's just as much for my sake to get it out there.

But I'm done getting it out there for tonight. Come back in the next few weeks...hopefully I'll be talking about something other than school and my FUUUTUUUREEE!! 'Cause let's face it, that shit is boring anyway, haha.

Over and out folks,
Joeypants

Fall down, rise up

Ah, and here we are a whopping two weeks later! Well, I'm not going to let this blog falter like my other ones did! Two weeks seems like a while but really for me it's a fine time to update. Though I wish I'd filled you in over reading week...even though it consisted mostly of attempted (and oft-successful) relaxation.

But now, it's back to the grind. First order of business: the internship. I got it. Bam baby! And like I said, once that's outta the way there's a HUGE weight off my shoulders. I felt good all week, real good, but today just seemed like a shitty day back. It's weird though because here and there I snap into these realizations: "maybe it was just "a day back." Back to the school, back to the grind, back to the long days in the edit suites and in stuffy classrooms coupled with the fact that it was BEAUTIFUL outside today...I thought that that my misery had returned but it's kind of one of those things were as I type these ramblings I realize...well shit man. All that work...all that coming off seven days of seeing friends old and new, and lazing around with TV, movies and video games, and exciting escapades and birthday dinners and good food and good conversation and stories to tell!

Today was a day back from a very relaxing break..it wasn't the return of that real-world anxiety/depression that I was experiencing, or that overworked exhaustion...it was just a day to adjust back to the routine. By the end of the week I'll be right as rain again.

Sure the workload's piling up...and sure I'm still a bit scared of what the real-world has to offer me as I get closer and closer to that portal outta post-secondary education world...but the internship's in the bag...some main fears have been allayed. I'm just...readjusting.

There's so much more to come, so much more to see, and all within just a few weeks.

Am I ready?

As I will ever be.

Peace, love and singing in harmony,
Joey