With my first week conquered, everything is slowly falling into place...at least I hope so. Our broadcast magazine show this semester is going to be intense. I can tell already seeing as I spent Thursday (which was indicated as a day off on my schedule) in Toronto, shooting some stuff in the downtown area for my group's segment. Our documentary class is essentially the same as it was last semester, except our docs need to be longer and better. The news show seems like it’s going to be pretty intense too, but luckily that’s the kind of class that doesn’t go beyond the school. We go in there and work our asses off for eight and a half hours, take the last half hour to reflect and then leave it behind until next week. Broadcast beats seems like it’s going to be okay, but there’s a steady stream of assignments lined up for it which means the bulk of the homework is going to come from that class. Finally there’s the field placement class, which actually seems like it’s going to be quite enlightening. I’m already beginning to get internships lined up, things are looking good with the whole 680 News thing. An internship there would be sweet so I'm crossing my fingers.
I look to my countdown and I still get a little freaked out. In less than a hundred days I’m gonna be entering “the real world.” I’m gonna be out in open water trying to swim…at least I’ve been learning how for the last four years, hopefully I can rely on that.
This semester seems so daunting, but of the shortened 12 week span of it, one week has already gone by. It won't be long now...
You can do this Joseph Chammas.
Wish me luck.
Peace, love, and unwavering determination,
Joe
P.S. In case you're wondering about the title of this post, I was jamming with my best friend Ron today, singing a song called "Reborn" for which he wrote the music and I wrote the lyrics. The title of this blog is lifted from the bridge of the song, I thought it fit the overall theme.
My fate is an unwritten story that I will finish in due time...
Last Stand
I spoke at length in the last post about the kind of crossroads I’ve just arrived at, but I’m still only now realizing the full gravity of the situation…quite literally because it’s been weighing me down. I guess not in a bad way, but in a thoughtful, forward-looking way.
It looks as if my life boils down to these next few weeks. Fourteen some-odd weeks more of learning the ropes, and by the end of it all I better damn well be able to climb. After school comes an internship, and after the internship…who knows? Once again that question comes to mind: “will I be ready?”
There are still a million things I can picture myself doing in this field, and I’m still not sure if at this point that’s a good thing or a bad thing.
If I wanna narrow down my focus, the main thing I should worry about is simply finishing up, getting through the last semester. This is it, this is where the road ends and like I said in my last post I’ve come too far to turn back now.
My purpose is to conquer this term in style, buckle down, straighten up and fly right. Not that my lust for nocturnal activity effected me too much last term (in fact I walked away with a 3.8 overall GPA) but it just seems that in preparation for my lot in life I should make some changes: stay more on the ball, read more, get to sleep at a decent hour if I’ve got an early next morning. I’m breaking that last rule as I type this very blog. According to my new rule I’m meant to get all my shit together at 11PM and be in dreamland by midnight. I think It’s a good rule and I’m gonna try to stick to it over the course of the semester if I can. On the bright side: I HAVE been reading more and I already feel more intelligent because of it. Not to mention that today was my first day of class and I got my first small assignment for homework and I plowed through it tonight so I don’t have to worry about another assignment in the class for two weeks.
So this is it, this is the last stand. It’s been five long years; I DO NOT want to go back to school after this.
Tonight, before crawling under my covers and beginning to write this post I put something on my whiteboard…
And there it is, just a gentle reminder of where I am…and where I’m headed. I hope it’s somewhere great…I really, really do.
Peace and love,
Joe
Question everything...
That fucking notion is back. You know the one: "quit school and become a rockstar!" "But notion!" I exclaim to it, "I've come so far, to turn back now would be ludicrous."
Tonight, during one of those semi-long car rides, my girlfriend and I were discussing the value of those pieces of paper we're waiting to be given to us by our respective educational insitutions. You know, the ones that we are awarded when society deems us capable enough to "do good work."
A little background: I started out studying print journalism, finished that two year program and got my college diploma, and now I am in my second and final year of studies at the same college for broadcast journalism. I don't know what it is but I think my perception of this industry has changed drastically over the last three and a half years. But to be perfectly fair, the industry itself has been changing as well...and quitting is definitely not an option, it's just an extreme notion that I wouldn't dream of considering now.
I just don't know...the fact is, I DO like this business. I like certain things about it, and I've always loved writing and the print stuff but I think I'm finding it harder to like broadcasting...or maybe that's just on-air. I think for a little while I though I was made for it, destined to be an anchor reporting on TV, but the fact is, there's so much more. Video and audio editing is so intriguing to me, but doing it wouldn't make me a journalist, it would make me a video editor. I think that would disappoint my dad. He always says to relatives who come over: "Joseph is going to be a journalist."
But I do enjoy many aspects of broadcasting..this whole video media no matter what I'm doing with it is intriguing. Video is not the enemy here, in fact it's a whole lot more than just that son of a bitch that killed the radio star...but that's the problem...fate...that whole radio star thing.
I love making music, and I love cutting together documentaries...but the fact is I have an unwavering passion when it comes to making music....I do not feel quite as strongly about sorting out chunks of video.
When it comes right down to it I'm not even sure that it's about that anymore...about this fate that I think I have to be a professional musician...I think it's about the fact that I, like many others, am scared. This, as far as my original intent, is to be my last four months of post-secondary studies...ever. I'll have been in college for five years come April (I did a year of advertising at first, didn't like it, got out quick) and I am petrified by the notion that I may actually have to find myself a long-term career. This notion only become more daunting when I take into consideration the fact that I have been struggling just to find a part-time job over the last four months.
I think in my last post I made a reference to a song I had written, "Small Town Boy." Appropriately enough, the lyrics go "I'm just a small town boy, with big dreams." At this point I'm not entirely sure what those dreams are, short of "I dream of being successful."
In a strange way I think I'm more well-off then some other people. My plan for after I graduate if I don't have a lasting internship is to find a part-time job doing anything, volunteer at my local Rogers public access TV station and start working on some freelance writing, pitching my stories here and there to different magazines and other publications. I actually HAVE a fucking PLAN...or at least an outline of what I'm gonna do to busy myself in life after school.
My trouble before was thinking ahead too much. I always think about this shit in the future like, "when am I gonna move out?" "when am I gonna find a decent job?" "when am I gonna get married and have kids and live happily ever after?"
Before, I didn't have to worry about finding a career, I could just coast through life working in warehouses and retail chains. It's different this time. This time it's right around the corner. I just hope I'm ready for it.
Well, now that I've gone and depressed everyone who's read this, let me just say this: no matter how much you may argue agaisnt it, how you carry yourself is a huge part of how far you go no matter what you're doing or what you eventually WANT to do. You gotta be like the more upbeat version of me (which I usually am, trust me) who just has a blind faith that in the end, everything will work out. Because after all, doesn't it always? The good guy always wins.
I'd like to think I'm the good guy. Chances are I'll get just a little farther if I think I'm the best guy.
Take care all you beautiful people. After all of that I still believe in me, so you should all believe in you too...I do.
Love,
Joe
"Ugh, what stinks?" "This town baby!!"
I'm kinda divided on this one...I mean yes my other blog is about the whole music thing but I think this topic goes deeper than that, and I have touched on this a little bit but on this blog but perhaps not on that deep level.
So here's the thing, I live in Mississauga, and as I was telling a friend earlier I have a love/hate relationship with this city. There's small town beauty in this big ol' city, and great people to boot. But with that small town beauty comes small town thinking, conservative thinking. It's my theory that places to play music in these parts are suffering for that very reason. I realized something today: the two main places that I've been able to showcase my music here in Mississauga, have gone under. First it was the Streetsville Soundbar, and recently it was the Executive Snooker Club.
Where is the interest in places like these? Mississauga certainly lacks that socialite, nightlife fire that Toronto has going, especially downtown Toronto. And what about us? What about the build-up and industrialization of Mississauga's unfortunately literal dead center? You know, our downtown core. Well, our downtown core is not a downtown core...it's the Square One Shopping Centre surrounded by a bunch of restaurants.
Don't get me wrong, the fact that Mississauga is such a big city but with such a small town atmosphere is a beautiful thing most of the time, it's inspiring. I mean, I wrote a song called "Small Town Boy" for god's sake! I hate the big city bullshit. I really do, but sadly, I think we need some of it here in Mississauga.
I for one can't be lugging equipment 45 minutes in every direction to play shows. Now, again don't get me wrong, I will still be doing that every now and then because I have to. For what I do, for making music, Toronto is the most accessible and quite possibly the best epicenter and I would encourage any Missisauga musician to go and hone their skills there. However I also believe that it doesn't have to be that way. each town, big or small should have a community, big or small that embraces the arts. And not just music, anything...anything you can get famous for I guess.
It's true that all those celebrities live in Hollywood, but that's certainly not where all of them were made.
Until next time,
Joe
