Return to sender

It's been a while, a long while. To break it all down shortly and sweetly: here's the skinny:

I finished my volunteer hours at Rogers, but I'm going to try to continue volunteering there two days a week or so. I spent four days working in the warehouse of a company that auctions animal furs...I'm not proud of that, but it was a temporary gig and I need the cash right now. In fact I'm currently looking for whatever I can to make money while I look for, well...a career.

It's so weird being here at these proverbial crossroads everyone keeps talking about. Fear is slowly setting back in, but I can't let it. I gotta trust that it will work out. It's tough when I see or hear about people around me, other students from my program thriving. It should encourage me more but it doesn't. Sadly enough, what encourages me is the fact that not all of us are so lucky. A lot of people are probably in the same boat as I am, sitting in limbo. I take an odd kind of solace in that fact, but the "limboat" as I am now calling it can only float for so long. Being at Rogers will keep me somewhat connected, in the network, but it's new jobs and opportunities that I'm after. I don't wanna be the guy who volunteers and waits tables WHILE he's looking for another job, and never find that job.

The urgency of this got real intense, real fast. I know a lot of people in my position struggle, but I refuse to be in this state very long. This summer must be a win for me, that is my goal. And as much as I hate to say it, one of the things that's hurting the most right now is the lack of money. It's getting almost frightening at this point, and it's most of the reason why I'm even looking for any old part-time job on the side. It's not just to kill time while I search for my dream career, I need it to sustain me...again, that's where the fear comes in.

But no more vicious cycles. I have things to do, goals to make AND ACHIEVE), music to play and plenty of love to share with everyone who needs it.

Love is after all the ultimate answer right? Here's hopin'.

Peace and a generous amount of the all-healing love,
Joe